Thursday, February 23, 2012

Family photos

I am getting back into the swing of things and I have a very good outlook on the rest of the year! It's going to be GREAT!!! 

I have my goals in place and I feel like getting organized. I am starting to feel rejuvinated. Thank you for all your sweet comments and prayers. It means the world to me and I think it has helped me cope. 

So I wanted to share some super cute pictures with you from a very talented photographer. I met Shannon with Shannon Kaeding Photography last year at a womens expo and I won a free mini photo session with her. I was so excited because her pictures are gorgeous. 
Take a look

Ok so you know you love the tooshie shots....My fav :) 
Some black mail for when he is older ;) 

Have a great night!

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Sad day I will never forget but hold in my heart forever!

 Where to begin....
I have been MIA for a reason that I have not wanted to write about. 
As most of you guys know I was pregnant...well I am sad to say that we lost the baby. 
I guess I have not wanted to write about it because it's just something I don't like to talk about. I don't like to get all personal and talk about my feelings. I have barley shared my feelings with my husband, I think that if I just forget about it everything will be fine. 
So this all happened about 2 weeks ago. 
It was the Saturday before Valentines day, me and my sister were out shopping and having a ton of fun. I just remember that day, something didn't feel right. I felt like I wasn't pregnant. I lost the sore boobs, any kind of nausea, and my exhaustion was gone. I chopped it up to my body changing and my hormones were changing as well. Well that's what I was convincing myself of. 
That night when we came back home and I was relaxing before a pre Valentines dinner with my family at The Outback steak house. I just remember going to the bathroom and doing my stuff and looking down to see a ton of blood...right then I knew what was happening. But then the bleeding stopped and I thought maybe I broke a blood vessel or something crazy like that or maybe I strained myself while out shopping. I was thinking a  ton of things that it could be...but not a miscarriage. 
So I decided to just go to dinner and if it got worse I would go to the doctor tomorrow. 
That was the worst dinner ever! I couldn't enjoy myself at all, the only thing running through my head was wanting to go get a ultra sound to make sure everything was ok. 
The next day the bleeding was getting worse and I remember the doctor telling me if I started bleeding that the ER really can't do anything for me and to come and see him. I figured I would do just that. So I went in on Monday morning with the worst period like cramps, almost like labor contractions. The cramps kept coming and going. But I still had hope that this baby would be ok. 
We went in and had a ultra sound, the baby had moved down to my cervix with no heart beat. I saw the picture on the big screen in the ultra sound room and I knew it. I knew from the very beginning that this pregnancy wouldn't last. I knew from the very minute I took that pregnancy test, when I told everyone the good news, everyone was so happy and I just couldn't be that excited because I knew. It never felt right. 
When I was in the doctors office I had not shed one single tear, I felt like I couldn't because if I did I wouldn't be able to stop. 
When the doctor was talking to me he was so sweet and you could really tell that he felt bad. He touched my knee and said "it's ok to cry" and then came the water works. But I needed to cry, I think that is part of the process. I have learned that I need to let out my emotions and not hold them back. It's hard because I don't like people to see me cry. 
Then came the hard part going home with the bad news, knowing I couldn't change anything, knowing I had to tell everyone and thinking
 It's not fair to have to loose something so close to you that you never got to hold or kiss. The worst part was knowing that I still had to go through the process of miscarriage. 
It took almost 3 days after that appointment to pass the fetus. The doctor gave me pills to make me have contractions. Let me say that was the worst thing ever! 
I never realized what physical and emotional pain went into having a miscarriage. It's something I never wish anyone to go through and I hope and pray I never have to go through that again. 
Today I am finally done with this whole process! I went to the doctor yesterday and he said everything has passed and  I can try again in 2-3 months. 

I feel like I have been a tough cookie through this whole thing. I had one break down, alone in my room crying and angry with the situation. Trying to figure out why this happened! 
But I am moving on knowing I will get pregnant again and have a beautiful baby. 
My heart goes out to you moms that have gone through this, I can say that I really have empathy for you and I am so sorry. 

Thank you for listening

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Guess what?....

I have been such a bad bad blogger! 
You know what it is like when your life just says "nope, no time for yourself" well that's my life lately. I have just recently started watching my niece and let me tell ya....she is a handful. 
I have also been slammed with orders in my shop! I am so happy it is starting to finally pick up. I just have so much ideas and things I would like to do with it. 

So what brings me here today is to share some fun and exciting news with you guys. Are you ready?.....

Yes I am pregnant! and super excited. 
Me and the hubs have been trying but not trying, you know whatever happens happens type of thing. 
I think it is perfect timing, by the time this baby is born Jaxon will be 2 and I love that age difference. 
So this pregnancy so far is a little different than the last time. I don't know if most of you know but my last pregnancy was HORRIBLE! I was so sick that I was in and out of IV therapy twice a week. I would throw up 8-12 times a day and their was no relief, no drugs or anything could make me feel better. 
This pregnancy seems to be different so far, I have been nauseous but no vomiting...yet! I know I have a huge chance of getting super sick, but as for now I am enjoying this pregnancy. 
I have also been super exhausted, I wake up and want to go back to bed. My everyday tasks take me forever to do and that is one of the reasons for the lack of posts...I just don't feel like it when I could be siting on the couch resting my eyes :) 

But I do want to make it a priority to update you all on my pregnancy and post lots of pictures. I want to keep a journal of this one better than I did the last.

I hope you will stick around through this fun journey I am going through. 
Thanks friends.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

This is what I have been doing!

Yay it's 2012!!!
This year is going to be a great year...I can feel it. 

We had a laid back New Years we played the wii all night long! 

So much fun, I guess you could say we are lame! :) 

I have been a busy little bee since Christmas ended here is what I have been up to! 

I took pictures of my sister and her baby

What do you think? I need to practice so much more, but I love taking pictures :) 

I have updated my shop with new items

That is just a few of what you will find, I will be updating the shop more for Valentines day here soon! 

I have 2 giveaways going on right now! 

One is my HUGE giveaway over on my other blog
I have 15 vendors who have donated awesome items, including me! There will be ONE winner!!! 
So get on over and enter! 

Oh and just for fun I have a facebook giveaway for this little beauty!

you can enter that here

Oh and I was looking through some of Jaxon's baby pictures (I am putting together a scrapbook for him) and I came across presh!!!

 Oh and if any of you were wondering this is how big I got! This was a couple of days before I had the little guy! 
Kinda scary that I got so big! 

So that's what I have been up to lately! 
I hope you all had a great New Years :)