Saturday, October 8, 2011

Can I be honest....

So many things have been wondering through my head for the past couple of months. 
Things are not working out the way I want them to!!!
But they never do right? 

I feel like I am missing out on so many things in life right now. 
so lets be honest....

I moved to St. George almost 3 years ago for my husbands job, a job that promised a bigger and better future....WRONG! he got laid off only a couple of months into it. We left 2 great jobs, a condo, friends and family. 
We moved in with my parents thinking we would save up money and move out in like 6 months. Long story short we are still living with my parents and my husband has had 5 jobs (getting laid off most of the time) and we are still in a bad situation. 
We can't afford to move out, my husband is a full time student and works at a dealership. We have one car that he uses to get back and forth to work. Would it even be worth me trying to get a job, pay for day care and trying to bum my way to a job everyday? I know so many women do it, but I don't feel like it's worth it for my son  He needs me!

I feel like I am at a standstill. We don't want to have anymore kids until we get our own place, and when will that happen. At the rate we are going we will never move out. I am still young at 26 and my son is 15 months old. My plan was to be pregnant about this time, I wanted to have 3 kids before I am 30. But my plan is changing, and I HATE that!!! 
Life is not fair and sometimes its just plain RUDE. 

But then after talking to my husband (who always looks on the brighter side of things) he says we have so many things to be grateful for 
-We have a place to live
-We can pay our bills
-Our family is healthy
-And we have a wonderful family that cares! 

At that moment I realized we are blessed and thing will just take time. I need to learn to be patient, selfless, and more positive.

I know everything can't be what I want when I want it.
My dreams will come true, I just have to take it one day at a time. 

On a side note don't forget to enter my giveaway here  it ends tomorrow!


lifeasleah said...

Awww girl!! Believe it or not, I'm in almost the same situation. My husband is a full-time student in pharmacy school and we've been living with his parents for two years now. Luckily, they have a big old farmhouse with lots and lots of space. We are basically living off of school loan money right now, and I've too thought about getting a job but haven't because I basically think the same way-I'd barely make enough to cover childcare, so why not just raise my child myself?
I understand your disappointment...even as much of a blessing it is to have everything you NEED, it's hard not to want a place of your own. I feel like we have just been stuck in transition mode for so long. We had our son before we were married and had plans to wait to get married and have more kids AFTER my husband graduates from pharmacy school.
Then we decided...
wait. Times are hard. Kids are expensive. We have a nice place to live, food to eat, and there really is no perfect or ideal time to add to your family. So we got married over a year ago and are now expecting a new baby. We somehow provided before and know that we'll somehow provide again.
I'm not trying to convince you to hurry up and get pregnant or anything, I just want to encourage you to maybe look at all your options and follow your heart. Just wanted to let you know that there's someone out there that kind of knows how you feel.

Lindsay S said...

I am so sorry you guys are going through this. I know everyone has different trials in life, and some are a lot harder than others. I hope that things will start to look up for you. The whole school thing is hard, because you have to devote so much time to that on top of a job. I guess the biggest thing is to do what your husband said, look at all the blessings in your life. Things will get better. You have a really beautiful family. And you are so inspiring to others.

chrissy b said...

girl keep your head up. we have all been there. praying things look up for you. and your hubby is right you are blessed and you have so much to be thankful for! have a great weekend love!

Flor @ Life in Progress said...

oh girl, I'm sorry for the stress and frustration you're going through! I know that it helps to get it out there.. and know that you ARE NOT alone. So many times we want to do things on our own time table and we forget that we are on Gods time table (I forget this all the time)! He has a WONDERFUL plan for you and your family! Hang in there :)

Ivy said...

Girl, I know how you feel- Reading your post, I had to comment because I have felt that same way before- you think your life should be going one way and instead it's heading in the opposite direction! I always say I am on Plan B... It might not be Plan A, but take things one day at a time and before you know it you might be glad things turned out the way they did.. :)